It was a chilly April afternoon that I arrived in Srinagar from abroad. As soon as I came out of the airport
, I could feel the chill and had to wear my jacket. Suddenly my driver came f
rom behind and as he greeted me the first thing he asked me to my surprise was if I wanted to go home or visit the hospital. I smiled and even before I could ask him why, he told me that Dad had been hospitalised. The whole excitement of visiting Kashmir just fizzled out and for a moment weird thoughts started creeping in my mind. Why? How? I kept on asking myself but could not muster the courage to call my family and ask them. I got into my car when suddenly my phone rang and it was my brother Taseer “Dad is stable but very weak; they have not been able to diagnose what the real cause of sudden spurt of fever is, Tanvir , it’s the same thing again that was happening last year”, he said. I didn’t want to ask him all the details and told him that I will drive straight to the Skims. My phone started ringing one after another and concerned friends and my relatives were trying to console me. As a son I started losing my cool and I just couldn’t and may be didn’t want to accept that my father was serious.
I switched my cell phone off and while looking out of the window I could relate myself to everyone who have faced similar situations. I was trying to convince myself that he is ok and why not? He just got his heart surgery done in August. This made me recollect everything that I and my family had to face last year in January when my father got suddenly ill. The fever wouldn’t subside for 15 days. After admitting him at the SKIMS for a few days we were advised by the doctors to take him to Delhi for further consultation. I am thankful to Mr. Omar Abdullah, who decided that he should be taken to Medcity Gurgaon. He personally ensured that we were being attended nicely, and was keeping track of all the happenings. Even his political secretary would call me hourly to get updates. As a Chief Minister, we understand his busy schedule but inspite of that he made sure that my father was being treated well. The process of Investigation, procedures, tests, x-rays, CT-Scan, started. The ordeal seemed never-ending until one of the doctor came up with an idea that since they cannot confirm the cause of his illness they would treat him for a common chronic infection. They started him on a very high dose of steroids and thankfully for a short period his fever started subsiding. This got us excited and why not? The fever had started subsiding after 3 months. He was discharged with a lengthy prescription and we decided to head back home. After a couple of weeks his face, hands and feet got swollen which the doctor insisted were the side effects of the medicine. My father was never convinced so he decided to visit Dr. Allaqband, who was surprised by the treatment and dosage. Days passed by and dad started becoming weaker and losing weight. We did not want to take any chances and so we decided to take him to Delhi again and admitted him to Max Hospital for a second opinion. Yet again a series of tests started and the doctors finally confirmed that his heart has a problem and a Valve obstruction needed immediate surgical intervention. We forgot the earlier problem and a new one started. After frantic discussion, we decided to get him operated under a well known cardiothoracic surgeon Dr Anil Bhan, who reluctantly agreed to operate upon him. After looking at his condition, I remember Dr.Bhan calling me to his chambers and telling me to either take him home as his condition is too bad or you guys will have to really fight. Either ways, it’s a very serious case and not many patients make it”. In a situation where even the doctors are unsure, at-least puts us in a position to think that if we don’t do this he will definitely die but if we pursue than he has chances of surviving.
After around 17 days in the hospital they decided to operate upon him. I remember while they were taking him inside the operation theatre he smilingly said, “Don’t worry I will make it, I have to for your mum and all you emotional people”. The Open heart surgery took around 6 hours with a double valve replacement and we were told that we can only see him the next day. At 2 am a visibly worried Surgeon came out and told us, “Sadiq Sahab, has started bleeding from the chest and its internal. We have to open him up again”. Strange thoughts started coming to my mind, maybe he is already dead? May be he passed away in the operation theatre? Or simply they were just buying time. While these thoughts were haunting me I thought that we should finally tell our mother to be ready. As soon as I opened the door of the attendant lounge for women, I saw my mother reciting “Quran” while everyone else was in deep sleep. I just couldn’t hold myself strong enough to tell her what has happened. I just couldn’t, I just hoped that God doesn’t let her down. Dad survived and started recuperating. He showed as much strength and grace as he did with his family life and politics as he did when battling for his life. He provided yet another great example of a fighter. Apart from giving due share to the doctors I have a very strong belief that it was the divine intervention that made my father come back from the death bed.
The journey from the Airport to the Hospital took ages. I finally reached the emergency side of the SKIMS and saw people as usual pushing and pulling each other, so many people who need medical care and just one super speciality hospital. What a relief it was to see dad, and I just can’t explain the joy I felt when he kissed me and said, “I thought I would never see you again”. Unfortunately that was the last time he spoke. I stayed with him the whole night, held his hand, I wanted him to talk to me once more but my father didn’t open his eyes. I just kept on looking at his face, He lay their silent with his eyes closed. The feeling that my father was lying on the bed with absolute silence is so painful that one can but only imagine. We were not ready for his death, nobody is. I will not blame the doctors for any medical negligence even though none of us are satisfied because till the last day the doctors were experimenting. They could not figure out the correct diagnosis. I guess his time had come. We just lost to God’s will. Losing a father is the biggest loss anyone can have. We lost a friend, a guide, a philosopher. If given a chance I would change the past and not leave my father alone even for a few seconds. We lost a father but in him we also lost a man of incredible honesty, a poet, a philosopher, environmentalist, writer, a true public man, an intelligent legislator and someone who was loved even by his adversaries. He stood tall for his principles, never gave in for petty politics. Everyone who visited our house had his or her incredible story to narrate about him. I know he will never return, but if Dad you are reading this, we are so very proud of you! You have been a great inspiration to the family and to so many people. You lived so that you left a lot more behind than an imprint on a tombstone or an obituary in a newspaper. It’s been an absolute honour to be known as your son, we love you Papa, and will always miss you. May Allah grant you place in Jannat-ul-Firdous. Aameen.
